MOVIE REVIEW – The erotic romance novel for ladies of E. L. James comes to the big screen. This is a story about handsome and rich, sexually dominant, practised and resolute modern Marquis de Sade, who is determined to make Anastasia Steele his submissive while skipping on the dreaded romance. Christian Grey doesn’t do hearts and flowers. He prefers soft BDSM and hard sex instead.

Erotic romance movies are surprisingly low in numbers – perhaps the last memorable one was 9 ½ weeks with a still young Kim Basinger and still handsome Mickey Rourke. Let’s not forget Red Shoes Diaries either, with David Duchovny, who is reading letters of women telling their erotic stories. Fifty Shades of Grey is somewhat a cross between the two, with a touch of bondage and lots of conversations and romance added to the story.

Sex and romance

How can BDSM, which you usually find on some shady webpages and romance, be together would be anybody’s guess, but E. L. James and her fans already knew the answer, and I have just learned it as well. The answer: in fact, Fifty Shades of Grey is so softcore that it’s almost on the same level as the aforementioned Nine 1/2 Weeks and its kind. Sure there’s a lot’s kinky stuff in the movie, but you can see the same thing in modern TV shows. Frankly, the sex scenes – bondage or not – aren’t that special; they are even a bit boring.

On the other hand, the love story drama is generally kind of interesting. Yes, it’s a timeless story: the one about the naive young woman and the wolfish seducer, but thanks to the scenario, which is said to be a bit better than the original story, it’s believable and rather well constructed.

Control freak and dominator sex addict

Christian is not only a dominator in rough sex relations but also a control freak millionaire and actor Jamie Dornan nailed pretty well this part of his role. I dare to say that it’s more interesting than all the BDSM and romance parts in the movie. “You’re the complete serial killer!” – says Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) to Christian, which is actually a nod to his chilling role in The Fall, a BBC television show. Yes, we have an American Psycho vibe here, which makes the overall simple story a bit more interesting.

Dakota Johnson is pretty convincing as the naïve student girl who falls in love with the handsome but dangerous and perverted millionaire CEO. While the overall story is still simple and too much drawn-out, their relationship is surprisingly realistic.

What a wonderful world

It’s a good thing since everything else besides their relationship in the movie is just incredibly mundane and boring. They both have parents who are either married or living in a relationship, and they don’t add anything at all to the narrative. Anastasia’s friend and Christian’s brother are just placeholder characters for the story, and their own relationship is forced and cringeworthy.

In their world, almost everything is clean-cut and simple. It would be ok if the story focused less on the unnecessary outside world.

Let’s talk about sex?

“Fifty Shades” is not without its howlers either. More than once, we find Christian mournfully playing the piano, the instrument that’s lazy shorthand for emotional depth. Anastasia’s constant refrain of “Why won’t you let me in?” is a little too on the nose, aimed as it is at a guy who maintains a locked “playroom.” And Christian’s world is Rich Guy 101, all private air travel, Champagne and bespoke suits. But for some (especially the ladies), none of this matters. They will go to see Jaime Dornan, no matter how average this movie is…

-BadSector-